The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sat, 6 Apr 1996 18:22:37 +0100
Hiya People... Here's the latest from Joke of the Day... Wishes & Dreams.. - ANDREA xx -- ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ***************************************************** **********************ANDROMEDA********************** ------- Forwarded message follows ------- It's already Easter weekend in April, and it is still less than 30 degrees here in Minneapolis! We're having one heck of a winter! AN ANNOTATED THERMOMETER 60 -Californians put on sweaters(if they can find one in their wardrobe) 50 -Miami residents turn on the heat 40 -You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming. 35 -Italian cars don't start 32 -Water freezes 30 -You plan your vacation to Australia, Minnesotans put on T-shirts, Politicians begin to worry about the homeless, British cars don't start 25 -Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming 20 -You can hear your breath, Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further south 15 -French cars don't start, You plan a vacation in Mexico, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you 10 -Too cold to ski, You need jumper cables to get your car going 5 -You plan your vacation in Houston, American cars don't start 0 -Alaskans put on T-shirts, too cold to skate -10 -German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink -15 -You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansas residents stick tongues to metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist -20 -Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start -25 -Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get driver going -30 -You plan a two week hot bath, The Mighty Monongajela freezes. Swedish cars don't start -40 -Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, your car helps you plan your trip south -50 -Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window -60 -Hell freezes over, Polar bears move south!! --- THE END --- \=/, _-===-_-====-_-===-_-==========-_-====-_ | @___oo ( Joke of the Day! )_ /\ /\ / (___,,,}_--= ) ) /^\) ^\/ _) =__ To be added or deleted, send e-mail ) ) /^\/ _) (_ To: majordomo@gnt.com ) ) _ / / _) ( ) /\ )/\/ || | )_) (_ In the body of the message, type ) < > |(,,) )__) ( the words SUBSCRIBE JOKE ) || / \)___)\ (_ UNSUBSCRIBE UNSUBSCRIBE __) | \____( )___) )___ -==-_____-=====-_____-=====-___== \______(_______;;; __;;; --- TLX 4.10 Alzheimers advantage: Hide own Easter eggs