The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sun, 14 Apr 1996 00:17:58 +0100
Hiya folks... Here's one from all the girls in my office... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx -- ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ***************************************************** **********************ANDROMEDA********************** ---------------------------------------------- A GUIDE TO EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ABILITY ^^^^^^^ FAR EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Leaps over buildings with a single bound. EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Leaps over tall buildings after a running start. MEETS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Can only leap over buildings without spires. NEEDS SOME IMPROVEMENT: Crashes into buildings when attempting to jump. BELOW MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS: Cannot recognise buildings - much less jump them. SPEED ^^^^^ FAR EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Faster than light. EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Faster than a bullet. MEETS JOB REQUIREMENTS: As fast as a bullet. NEEDS SOME IMPROVEMENT: Would you believe a slow bullet? BELOW MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS: Wounds self with bullet when attempting to shoot. PERSEVERANCE ^^^^^^^^^^^^ FAR EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Stronger than an elephant. EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Stronger than a bull. MEETS JOB REQUIREMENTS: As strong as a bull. NEEDS SOME IMPROVEMENT: Thinks like a bull. BELOW MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS: Smells like a bull. RESOURCEFULNESS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ FAR EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Walks on water constantly. EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Walks on water occasionally. MEETS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Washes with water. NEEDS SOME IMPROVEMENT: Drinks water. BELOW MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS: Passes water in emergencies. COMMUNICATION ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ FAR EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Talks with God. EXCEEDS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Talks with angels. MEETS JOB REQUIREMENTS: Talks with himself. NEEDS SOME IMPROVEMENT: Argues with himself. BELOW MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS: Loses arguments with himself.