The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Thu, 25 Apr 1996 21:58:52 +0100
Hiya People...
I think the big question is how long can Chuck avoid doing any
work...???...here's another one from him...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
--
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
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******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded message follows -------
> IDIONYMS
> ON METAPHYSICS
> Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in
> the head like this before.
> ON DEEP THOUGHTS
> A day without sunshine is like night.
> ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
> There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you
> buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back
> and demand a refund?
> ON HIGHER EDUCATION
> College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to
> drink.
> ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
> A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
> ON YOUTH
> "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not
> true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
> -- Steven King, 3/8/90
> ON PROBLEM SOLVING
> When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
> resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow
> ON MATERIALISM
> He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
> ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
> Photons have mass? I didn't know they were catholic!
> ON INFINITY
> If you had everything, where would you keep it?
> ON ECONOMICS
> The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
> ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
> I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
> has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
> -- English Professor, Ohio University
> ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
> What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
> ON DATING
> When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the
> occasional division by zero.
> ON LAMENTATION
> Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
> ON POETIC LOVE
> When you're swimmin' in the creek
> And an eel bites your cheek
> That's a moray!
> -- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
> ON MODERNISM
> Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
> with brightly colored machine tools.
> ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
> Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.
> ON EXTINCTION
> Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
> ON LITERATURE
> This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown
> with great force. -- Dorothy Parker
> ON HUMILITY
> To err is human, to moo bovine.
> ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
> "... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
> lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
> their C programs." -- Robert Firth
> ON PROPHECY
> The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse.
> ON EXCUSES
> I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. -- Joe Walsh
> ON NUMBERS
> Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of
> 2.
> ON WORLD POLITICS
> Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
> AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
> There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
> We don't believe this to be a coincidence.