NEVERMORE with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Thu, 9 May 1996 05:36:52 +0100


Hiya Loonies...

Here's a bit of what might once have been Poe, for the literary minded
among us...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx
-- 
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
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***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
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*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded message follows -------

Courtesy of Kevin Martin, Courtesy of Arden Meyer
   
            NEVERMORE
  
  Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
  System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
  Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
  Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
  Having reached the bottom line,
  I took a floppy from the drawer.
  Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command
  But got instead a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
  
  Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
  These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
  Carefully, I weighed my options.
  These three seemed to be the top ones.
  Clearly, I must now adopt one:
  Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore.
  
  With my fingers pale and trembling,
  Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
  Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
  Praying for some guarantee
  Finally I pressed a key --
  But on the screen what did I see?
  Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
  
  I tried to catch the chips off-guard --
  I pressed again, but twice as hard.
  Luck was just not in the cards.
  I saw what I had seen before.
  Now I typed in desperation
  Trying random combinations
  Still there came the incantation:
  Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore.
  
  There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted
  Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
  And then I saw an awful sight:
  A bold and blinding flash of light --
  A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core.
  I saw the screen collapse and die
  "Oh no -- my database", I cried
  I thought I heard a voice reply,
  "You'll see your data Nevermore."
  
  To this day I do not know
  The place to which lost data goes
  I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored.
  But as for productivity, well
  I fear that it goes straight to hell
  And that's the tale I have to tell
  Your choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore.