Gene Splicing...

The Loony Bin ( )
Thu, 1 Aug 1996 09:03:13 +0100

Hiya Loonies...

Here are a few peculiar possibilities for you...

Wishes & Dreams...


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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

 Here we go, Campers. It seems that gene-splicing has become a reality.
 Now all those old jokes about crossing a parrot with a centipede are
 within the realm of possibility.

 Here are a few examples:

 Cross an Indian monkey with a vine of the legume family and a plant with
 yellow cup-shaped flowers will give you - Rhesus Peanut Buttercup.

 Cross a sasquatch and a baboon. It's a Sassoon that lurks in the suburbs
 at night, catches unwary women and styles their hair.

 Cross an armadillo with a hammerhead shark and keep your fridge smelling
 fresh. It's an Arm & Hammerhead shark.

 Cross a male grouse with a female dog and you get a bird dog that's
 always complaining, a Grouse-and-Bitch.

 Cross a parrot with an alligator and when the Parrigator asks you for a
 cracker, you'd be well advised to give it one.

 Cross a sheep dog and a baby of the carp family will get you a Shag-

 Splice the genes of 63,360 inchworms and you get a Mile-worm.

 An Impossabull is what you get when you make a three-way cross between
 an impala, a possum and a bull. It's a 2000 lb. antelope that hangs from
 trees and drops down on unsuspecting matadors.

 Here's an interesting five-way cross. An Alaskan King Crab, a
 kingfisher, a jackrabbit, a jackass and a jackal gives you a Full House.

 Cross a rabbit with an amoeba gives you an Amoebit. It can multiply and
 divide at the same time.

 Cross a grasshopper and a hippopotamus, and you get a Grasshoppapotamus.
 It's a short-lived creature that can leap to tremendous heights. . .

 A coyote and an ass. This results in a Doncoyote. An ass that brays at
 windmills and tilts at the moon.

 Cross a lion and an ocelot and you get a political animal. It's a
 Lialot, close relative of the Cheetalot.

 Cross a racehorse with a hog and you get a Thoroughpig.

 Cross a sheep with a porcupine and you get a Sheepupine. It not only
 supplies you with wool but will also knit you a sweater.

 Here's one from the sixties. It travels in packs, searching for grass
 and other kinds of dope. Cross a male sheep, a baby sheep, an Australian
 wild dog and a donkey. It's Aram-alam-ading-donk.

 A combination of a lamprey eel and a baboon created at a famous American
 college gives you the Harvard Lampoon.

 Two very dull fish, a grouper and a porgy produces some very interesting
 results. A Grouporgy.

 A coward and a hyena gives you the laughing stock of the party, the

 Cross a snake with a canary and you get a bird that sings with a lisp. A

 Cross an elephant with a former American president and you get a
 creature with a very beautiful voice that can break glass. It also falls
 down a lot. It's an Elephantsgerald.

 Cross a lamb with a camel to produce sweaters with bumps especially for
 the ladies, a Lamel.

 Heres one from the flora domain. Cross the aloe and baby's breath to get
 the ingredients for the French aphrodisiac, the Aloebaby.

 Cross a donkey with a Doberman and you get the Asspinscher, the dog who
 thinks he's a goose.

 Incidentally, the cross between a parrot and a centipede mentioned
 earlier will get you a Walkie-talkie.