Police logs...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Mon, 7 Oct 1996 16:15:29 +0100


Hiya Folks...

This is from real-life police logs...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
***                                                 ***
***                 THE LOONY BIN                   ***
***           loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk          ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
***                                                 ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

+----------------------------------------------------------------+

       THE FUNNIEST POLICE LOGS OF MARBLEHEAD, MASSACHUSETTS


Marblehead is an upper middle class town north of Boston. These logs
were taken out of the local paper, "The Marblehead Reporter", and
accurately reflect what police deal with in the town.

These logs are written by policemen, and therefore often grammatically
incorrect and hard to understand. You can't expect these courageous men
and women who excel at their challenging profession to also know how to
write.


"A woman was hit in the face by a bagel on Roundhouse Road at 10:07
p.m."

"A caller reported two live peacocks in the middle of Watson Street at
5:25 p.m."

"A tree was stolen from a yard on Tioga Way at 5:19 p.m."

"A poisoned squirrel was stumbling through a yard on Broughton Road at
9:50 a.m."

"Keys and a child were locked into a white Saab on Pleasant Street at
4:16 p.m."

"A lady with lipstick on her forehead was handing out business cards on
Bessom Street at 4:04p.m."

"A disoriented duck was reported on Saturn Road at 9:27 p.m."

"A car hit a cat and was picked up by a female Roller Blader on Cressy
Street at 6:07 p.m."

"A caller reported tow ducks fighting on Turner Road at 7:59 p.m."

"A Mad Raccoon was chasing a boy on Curtis Street at 10:38 a.m."

"A large Santa was stolen from a backyard on Ocean Avenue at 1:08 p.m."

"A mother duck and her babies were in the street on Atlantic Avenue at
5:56 p.m." 5/31/96

"An elderly woman reported a black thing on her ceiling on Farrell Court
at 7:45 a.m."

"A dead, rotting duck was found on the sidewalk on Ocean Ave at 3:26
p.m."

"A squirrel was running around a house on Lattimer Street at 2:23 p.m."

"An elderly man was directing traffic on Village Street at 6:35 p.m."

"A caller reported six dead squirrels on Humphrey Street at 2:12
p.m."6/6/96

"A caller reported receiving a threat on the Internet on Sheldon Road at
8:24 p.m."

"A man pulled his pants down at the Sevinor property on Hunphrey Street
at 6:15 p.m."

"A sick raccoon was on a porch on Lincoln Avenue at 9:58 p.m."

"A license plate had expired on Sevinor Road at 6:45 p.m."

"A boy had handcuffs on and could not unlock them on Pleasant Street at
1:17 p.m."

"A dog was attacked by a cat on Vine Street at 2:11 p.m."

"A highway employee was hit with a broom on Willow Road at 10:44 a.m."

"A live rat was found in a motor vehicle on Lindsey Street at 4 a.m."

"A caller reported three youths attempting to steal a bike rack at 7:29
p.m."

"A youth in a motor vehicle was acting suspicious on Pond Street at
10:54 p.m."

"A persistent salesman was reported on Pitman Road at 12:04 p.m."

"Girls were fighting on Atlantic Avenue at 8:47 p.m. "