The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 6 Nov 1996 00:34:26 +0000
Hiya Loonies...
Here's some more news...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
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------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
In The News - Edited excerpts from the LA Times
Republicans say that paying students to do volunteer work is silly. This
may be true, but I think paying Congress to do silly work should be
voluntary.
Two top aides of Russian President Boris Yeltsin were arrested last
week. When these guys decided to pattern their government after ours,
they weren't kidding.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that seizing suspected criminals property
does not amount to double jeopardy. It does, however, contribute to
their wheel of misfortune.
The California Supreme Court reduced the strict "three strikes and
you're out" law to a more lenient "three strikes and we'll be very
disappointed in you".
A new Census Bureau study concludes that the rich are getting richer
and the poor are getting poorer. The study also concluded that you only
hurt the ones you love, great minds think alike, and you *are* as young
as you feel.
Atlanta is gearing up for the Summer Olympics. On opening day, there
will be the traditional raising of the prices.
The U.S. Post Office released the commemorative James Dean stamp. This
is fitting - Dean never made it to his destination either.
In Laguna Niguel, California, there is a federal building shaped like an
ancient temple where the Aztecs cut the living hearts out of sacrificial
victims. The building houses IRS offices, where they do pretty much the
same thing.
The Court of Appeals in Maryland is reviewing a proposed ethics rule
that would bar lawyers from having sex with their clients. Screwing the
client is still very much encouraged.
The space shuttle Columbia is looking for ways to prevent flabby muscles
and lack of sleep among the crew. The first thing they need to do is
take away their cable TV.
If Sony, maker of the Walkman, buys the rights to manufacture musical
condoms...what would they call them?