The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 20 Nov 1996 15:20:09 +0000
Hiya Folks...
Here are some new driving laws...written to take into account current
driving habits in North Carolina...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
The following is a summary of the new driving laws to be implemented
immediately in the state of North Carolina:
-Passing is only allowed in the right lane
-When driving in the left lane, you must keep pace with the car in the
right lane.
-When you are confused, stop.
-Directionals are forbidden except when cruising in the left lane of a
major highway.
-Changing lanes from the left driving lane to a left turn lane is only
permitted a maximum of 10 feet from the intersection and/or when
another vehicle is almost there, and there is just enough space for
you to squeeze in.
-If you are not sure where you are, stop.
-When driving on a double yellow road without a passing lane, you must
go at least 15 miles/hour under the speed limit.
-It is now permitted to make a right turn from the left lane without
any notice or warning.
-If someone is trying to turn on to a road that you are driving on,
you must go fast enough to get in the way and slow enough to allow the
traffic behind you to do the same.
-When looking for something, stop.
-Never accelerate
-If your car is REALLY big (i.e. Buick Century, Chrysler New Yorker,
any Cadillac or Lincoln or if your hair is blue) 6 mph is the maximum
you may drive.
-Brakeing at every intersection is not only safe for the imaginary
animals crossing the street, but a great idea!
-For no reason, stop.
-Never signal or give an indication of your next move, its a jungle
out there and god forbid you let your strategy out.
-Always cut off trucks and semis, they can stop on a dime.
-When using the beltline, you must break down and leave your car on
the off ramp (preferably blocking traffic).
-All major roadways are perfectly good parking lots.(e.g. Hillsborough
street)
-When pulled over by a member of our brave, fearless and dedicated law
enforcement agency, you must stop in the middle of traffic. Don't
forget your hazards, its the all encompassing excuse.
-If its tuesday, stop.
-If you need a drivers license, do not wait in line at the DMV, do
what everyone else here does and get it in the bottom of a Fruit Loops
box.
Joke written by jleconte@mailgate.seer.com