News...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 4 Dec 1996 15:07:31 +0000


Hiya People...

Here's some more news from Alan...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


ROCK-A-BYE BABY: Robert Salazar says he was having sex with one of his
   employees on a balcony of a hotel in Industry, Calif., when she
   changed her position, lost her balance, and fell eight stories to her 
   death. The employee, Sandra Orellana, a worker's compensation
   insurance specialist, was reportedly not getting along with her boss, 
   and was considering filing sexual harassment charges against him, her 
   family says. Police, suspicious of Salazar's story -- and noting he
   went to bed after the fall instead of calling for help -- arrested 
   him for murder, but he was released later for lack of evidence.
   Salazar has returned to Houston to his wife and children, while
   police have been throwing a dummy off the balcony to help prove -- or 
   disprove -- his story. (UPI) ...Meanwhile, only the victim was
   qualified to rule whether this would be covered under the company's 
   worker's compensation policy.

LIFE AFTER DEATH: Two hours into his funeral service, Talayi George
   Sogcwe sat up in his coffin. A miraculous recovery? No: he and his
   wife faked his death as a test. "I simply wanted to know what people 
   would say about me when I am dead," he said later. The 65-year-old
   Zwide, South Africa, man is happy about the outcome. "I am satisfied 
   they spoke the truth about me and not lies, as is often the case when 
   a person is dead." Sogcwe said he would keep the coffin for his real 
   funeral. (Reuter) ...Which may be held sooner than he thinks.

FICKLE FINGER OF FATE: Police in National City, Calif., say Victor 
   Arreola stopped a van and tried to carjack it. That's when the
   driver, still sitting in his seat and fearing for his wife and three 
   children inside, slammed the door so hard that it severed Arreola's
   middle finger. Officers caught up with him at a local hospital, where 
   they asked him to identify the detached digit. "Yeah, that's my
   finger," Arreola said. An officer replied, "You're under arrest for 
   carjacking." Arreola thought about that for a minute, and said,
   "That's not my finger." Meanwhile, a Japanese man has confessed that 
   he staged his own kidnaping. Toru Adojima, 39, who was being
   investigated in a fraud case, disappeared two months ago. His wife 
   received a ransom note -- and Adojima's little finger. Police found 
   him in a Tokyo hotel after learning he had gone to a hospital for
   pain medication -- he could no longer take the ache in his hand from 
   the amputation. Police said Adojima admitted cutting off his own
   finger and sending it as "proof" of his kidnap, adding he got the
   idea from a movie. (Reuter, UPI) ...Good thing he wasn't watching The 
   Addams Family.

CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL: Linda Russell recently called the
   University of Oregon and confessed: 34 years ago, she cheated on a
   final exam. The university has decided not to revoke the professional 
   therapist's degree, but she must write an essay on the importance of 
   academic integrity and how "corrosive" dishonesty can be. Also, Fyona 
   Campbell, who at age 16 set out on an journey to walk around the
   world, which took her from 1983 to 1994, has admitted she rode in a 
   support truck for part of her crossing of the United States. "I
   shouldn't be remembered as the first woman to walk around the world 
   when I cheated. I broke the unwritten rule of the Guinness Book of
   Records," she said. (AP, Reuter) ..."The problems of victory are more 
   agreeable than the problems of defeat, but they are no less
   difficult." -- Winston Churchill (1874-1965) 

CONFESSIONS II: Tridentine Bishop Michael Cox of County Offaly, Ireland, 
   has come up with a way to minister and to help pay for restorations
   at his church: a "healing and confession line". For one pound a 
   minute, callers can choose to talk to the Bishop, connect with a
   "healing line", or say their confessions. "There is a genuine need
   for a service like this, especially for people who are housebound or 
   living in isolated areas," Fr. Cox said. However, a spokesman at the 
   Vatican didn't think so. "Anyone who believes that by participating 
   in this form of confession is having a valid sacrament is mistaken. 
   Personal encounter is part of the sacrament of confession by
   definition," he said. (Reuter) ...To confess to lying, press 1. To 
   confess to adultery, press 2. To confess to....

FORBIDDEN FRUIT: To recreate the moment when a falling apple gave Isaac 
   Newton the idea of gravity and, subsequently, his three laws of
   motion, the U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology and 
   Japan's Construction Ministry's Public Works Research Institute had 
   to work well in advance. Starting with a plan in 1992, the team was 
   able to procure a sapling from the Newton tree, which was brought to 
   the Arai, Niigata Prefecture in Summer, 1995. As it finally bore its 
   first apple, a video camera was set up to catch it falling to the
   ground. However, the video didn't capture the recreated moment of
   epiphany -- instead, it shows a man walking by the tree, spotting the 
   apple, picking it, and eating it. (UPI) ...At which point, one of the 
   scientists asked the man to put the apple on his head for a
   recreation of the William Tell story. 

UNDERCOVER: "End of Cold War Does Little to Reduce Trench Coat Sales" -- 
   Christian Science Monitor headline

Copyright 1996 by Randy Cassingham