The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sun, 15 Dec 1996 18:18:17 +0000
Hiya Folks...
Here's a definition of some readers of news...I come in part way through
'Hacker' I think...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>***
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
*** ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
BEGINNER:
- Thinks rn is a typo.
- Posts empty articles.
- Wonders what `@' means.
- Accidently sends (empty) mail messages to other readers.
NOVICE:
- Knows how to read news, but seldom does, since s/he hasn't
learned how to (un)subscribe to a subject.
- Posts the programmer-lightbulb joke to soc.women.
- Tries to post his/her KILL files.
- Posts articles asking what `:-)' means, and misspells it.
- Wonders why people go to all the trouble of typing in other people's
articles with all those silly ">"s.
USER:
- Knows how to post followups, but uses ed to do so.
- Posts articles asking what `SO', `BTW', and `MOTOS' mean.
- Has heard of KILL files, but doesn't know what they are.
- Has worn out the `n' key.
- Still reads rec.humor
KNOWLEDGEABLE USER:
- Knows about .signature files, but sometimes includes them twice.
- Posts flames to net.announce.newusers.
- Uses KILL files, but only on "Subject:" lines.
- Has learned to edit the "followups to:" line.
- Can save a rot13'd joke, and read it later.
EXPERT:
- Knows how to post anonymously, from nonexistent sites.
- Posts flames about users of "notes."
- Has 0.1 megabytes of KILL files, and 5 megabytes of mail.
- Is known by name at virtually all news sites.
- Knows how to post rot13'd jokes, and can read them without
saving and exiting.
HACKER:
- Knows how to create new newsgroups.
- Has modified local version of vnews to allow longer postings.
- Uses rmgroup instead of KILL files.
- Knows how to send mail through the ARPANET.
- Can read rot13'd text without unrotating it.
GURU:
- Has private database of alternate paths to all sites.
- Has caused at least one newsgroup to be eliminated due to low
signal/noise.
- Name appears in over 1000 KILL files (at other sites).
- Uses undocumented features of rn.
- Moderates at least one newsgroup.
WIZARD:
- Thinks rn is a typo.