The Loony Bin ( )
Wed, 22 Jan 1997 15:16:28 +0000

Hiya Folks...

Here's what happened on a goodwill tour and a tourist's trip...

Wishes & Dreams...


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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Stalin and Secretary Molotov, have made a goodwill visit to Poland, and
are returning to Moscow on the night train. It's pitch dark. 

After an hour or so, Stalin says, "I wonder where we are now?" 

Molotov opens the window, put his hand outside for a second, and says
"Still in Poland, Comrade Stalin." 

Stalin is impressed, but says nothing, for fear of looking dumb.

A couple of hours later, Stalin says, "I guess we must be in Russia by

Molotov puts his hand outside the window again and says, "No, Comrade
Stalin, we're only in East Germany." 

Again Stalin is impressed but keeps quiet.

Finally after several more hours, Molotov puts his hand outside the
window and says, "Now we're in the USSR."

This time Stalin cannot contain his curiosity, and demands to know how
Molotov can find his way in the dark. 

After a bit of hesitation, Molotov replies, "Well, to tell the truth,
Josef Vissarionovich, the first time I put my hand outside, somebody
spat on it, so I knew we were still in Poland. The second time, somebody
kissed it, so I knew we were in East Germany.  The third time, somebody
stole my watch, so I knew we were in the Soviet Union..."


An American tourist is on a trip around Ireland. 

When the tour arrives at Belfast he decides to go for a stroll with the
aim of taking in this new culture. After he's been walking for a while
someone rushes up behind him and sticks a gun in his back.

The person says to the tourist "What are you, Catholic or Protestant?"

The American thinks to himself "Great - if I say I'm Catholic, this guy
is sure to be Protestant. If I say I'm Protestant, he's sure to be
Catholic. Either way I'm dead." 

Then he has a brain wave and says to the gunman, "Actually I'm Jewish". 

This, he thinks to himself will surely keep him safe.

The guy behind him then replies "Gee, I must be the luckiest Arab in