The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Tue, 1 Apr 1997 19:04:30 +0100
Hiya Folks... Here's a bit of aviation news, and some enlightenment on some US laws relating to flying... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*** ***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>*** *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ *** *** *** *******************Internet Goddess******************** **********************ANDROMEDA************************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- MISUNDERSTANDING Cleveland, Ohio -- A doctor was convicted Tuesday of inciting public panic when he walked out of an airport bar, grabbed a microphone and announced that a terrorist bomb was inside Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. Dr. John Vance, 40, of Cortland, did not appear intoxicated, according to the Cleveland police officer who arrested him. About a dozen people in the airport's main lounge walked out after the announcement. Vance apologized and called his public address joke a "misunderstanding." Cleveland Municipal Court Judge Robert Triozzi found Vance guilty and scheduled sentencing for Nov. 12. He faces up to 180 days in jail and a fine of up to $1,000. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ACTUAL LAWS FROM A VARIETY OF PLACES IN THE UNITED STATES Excerpts from Private Pilot, November 1987 It is against the law for a pilot to tickle a female flying student under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention. -- Columbia, PA It is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds and attired in shorts to pilot or ride in an airplane. --Pocataligo, GA Lingerie can't be hung on a clothesline at the airport unless the undies are carefully hidden from prying eyes by a "suitable screen". -- Kidderville, NH No female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this state unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed with a club. The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses. --Kentucky It is a violation of local law for any pilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while either flying or waiting to board a plane. --Lowes Crossroads, Delaware Pilots and passengers are prohibited from eating onions between the hours of 7 A.M. and 7 P.M. --Bluff, Utah Citizens are not allowed to enter an airplane within four hours of eating garlic. --Wakefield, RI No female wearing a nightgown can be taken for a flight on a private plane. --Headland, AL It is against the law to eat ice cream in the local airport with a fork. --Bicknell, IN No married man can go flying on Sunday. --Burdoville, VT No married man can go flying without his spouse along at any time, unless he has been married for more than 12 months. --West Union, OH No one can play cards on the airport grounds with a woman, a child, or an Indian. --White Horse, NM No one -- man, woman, or child -- can be seen flying while barefoot. --Fairplay, CO Don't let your horse fall asleep in the airport. --Peewee, West Virginia Women who are single, widowed, or divorced are banned from parachuting on Sunday. --Crawford, Nebraska No turtle races shall be held at the airport. --Bourbon, Mississippi People cannot play checkers at the airport, "lest they acquire a taste for gambling." --Clearbrook, Minnesota Citizens cannot carry a slingshot on an airplane without special permission. --Okanogan, WA No pilot can eat unshelled roasted peanuts or watermelon while flying. --Leadwood, Missouri No person is allowed to read the Sunday paper while sitting in a chair at the airport while church services are going on. --Upperville, VA No flyer may wear a pair of pants with hip pockets while flying. -- Guyman, OK Gargling is prohibited while flying. --Hackberry, Arizona Loud burping while walking around the airport is prohibited. -- Halstead, Kansas It is against the law to sneeze in an airplane. --Lynch Heights, Delaware No flying instructor "can place his arm around a woman without a good and lawful reason" (while flying). --Rock Springs, WY Juggling in front of an airplane is illegal. --Wellsboro, PA Roosters may crow, only if it is done at least 300 feet from the airport. --Stugis, Michigan