Losers...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
30 Apr 1998 22:00:33 -0000


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Hiya Loonies...

If you think your life is bad...meet some of the real losers...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
	xx

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***                                                 ***
***                 THE LOONY BIN                   ***
***           loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk          ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
***                                                 ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

1. Trying to keep warm in freezing weather, a 50 year old
Cypriot huddled over his paraffin heater. Accidentally
overturning it, he set himself on fire.
Screaming in pain as his clothes were engulfed he ran
out of his abode and jumped into a nearby reservoir, where he
sunk like a stone and drowned.

2. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony,
two of the most expensively saved animals were released back
into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute
later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

3. A psychology student rented out her spare room to a carpenter
in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After
weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an
axe leaving her mentally retarded.

4. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the
world flagpole-sitting record. By the time he had come down,
eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone
bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity
had been cut off.

5. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the
back door, breaking  his arm in two places. A shame as he has
merely been listening to his walkman.

6. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty
of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs,
all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and
stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And the last & best.......

7. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on
a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on
it. You've guessed it, he opened it and said a fond farewell to
his face.

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