The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 26 Jun 1998 13:03:03 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/
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Hiya All...
Here are some questions which need some answers...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
*** ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't
drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of
parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If 7-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are
there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick
to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it
from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens
when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol
if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called
a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's
called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on
planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same
substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,
you turn down the volume on the radio?
Did you know who in 1923 was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
These men should have been considered some of the world's most
successful men. At least they found the secret of making money.
Now more than 70 years later, do you know what has become of
these men?
1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab,
died a pauper.
2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson,is
insane.
3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released
from prison to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad,
penniless.
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot
himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, committed
suicide.
The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf
championships, Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA
Tournaments. Today he is still playing golf and is solvent.
CONCLUSION?
STOP WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND START PLAYING GOLF
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