The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Mon, 7 Sep 1998 11:26:29 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hiya People... Here's the last part of Alan's thoughts for the day... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ******************************************************* ******************************************************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.com *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** *******************Internet Goddess******************** **********************ANDROMEDA************************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Please remain calm. It's no use both of us being hysterical at the same time. - Ashleigh Brilliant There has been an alarming increase in the number of things I know nothing about. - Ashleigh Brilliant It's good to know that, if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibilty for me. - Ashleigh Brilliant I'm sorry for not communicating but sometimes it's very hard to write on a moving planet. - Ashleigh Brilliant The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want mustard with that?" One sign of an impending nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. SCSI is *NOT* magic. There are *fundamental technical reasons* why it is necessary to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain now and then. - John Woods Faith is the illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. - H.L. Mencken I will not do it as a hack, I will not do it on a Mac, I will not do it on week-ends, I will not do it for my friends. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful. If two lawyers were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? Windows 95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - John Benfield I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. ...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women... - Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you. Improper planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine I did not take this long to evolve to the top of the food chain just to be a vegetarian. What have you got if you've got 20 lawyers up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry Some days, it just doesn't seem worthwile to gnaw through the straps. - Emo Philips Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. A day without sunshine is like, night. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H.L. Mencken No computer has ever been designed that is ever aware of what it's doing; but most of the time, we aren't either. - Marvin Minsky For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like. - Abraham Lincoln A leopard never changes his stripes. - Al Gore Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. - Carl Zwanzig Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. - In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance Ben Franklin was a little stout later in life and it was said that in Paris a young woman, tapping him on his protruding abdomen, said, "Dr. Franklin, if this were on a woman, we'd know what to think." And Franklin replied,"Half an hour ago, Mademoiselle, it was on a woman, and now what do you think?" - From the Humes File Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing. - Werner von Braun The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. - John Sladek How can there be self-help "groups"? I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. - Andy Rooney The difference between man and animals is that we don't use our tongue to clean our genitalia. - Rimmer (from Red Dwarf) Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherf***ers. If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them. There it was, hidden in alphabetical order. - Rita Holt Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries simply because you were born in it. - George Bernard Shaw If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. - Bill Vaughan The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W. Somerset Maugham I think I've got the hang of it now :w :q :wq ZZ :wq! ^d ^D ^C quit exit X Q :!QUIT bye CtrlAltDel ~~q :~q logout save/quit zz ZZ ZZZZ ^H ^@ ^L ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help helpquit helpexit ?Quit ?q ?x ZZ bye ----------------------------------------------------------------- This message was sent via ListBot. To remove yourself from this list, please visit http://www.listbot.com/remove.html or send mail to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com Start Your Own FREE Mailing List At http://listbot.com/ -----------------------------------------------------------------