Vice President...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Thu, 8 Apr 1999 22:54:20 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya All...

Dan Quayle isn't the only one who can put his foot in it...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
***                                                 ***
***      Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/      ***
***                                                 ***
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


AL GORE QUOTES

Justice at long last; after so many years of "Quayle quotes" both real
and fictional circulating the net as if all were gospel truth, here's a
list of Gore-isms.

-------------------

Since his 1992 election, Mr. Al Gore, our vaunted vice president,
Harvard graduate, and Father of the Internet, has:

1.  Told reporters, "We all know a leopard cannot change his stripes."

2.  Asked "who are these people?" to a guide at Monticello showing busts
of Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.

3.  Said Milwaukee's ethnic melting pot shows America "can be e pluribus
unum - out of one, many." The correct phrase is "out of many, one."

4.  Claimed he and Tipper were the model for "Love Story," an assertion
author Erich Segal said was untrue.

5.  Labeled his perceived enemies as possessing an "extra chromosome," a
remark that infuriated the families of people with Down's syndrome,
which is caused by an extra chromosome.

6.  Recited an emotional story before the 1996 Democratic Convention of
how he had dedicated his life to fighting the tobacco industry after his
sister died of cancer. But failed to mention that while his sister
vainly fought the disease brought on by tobacco, the family farm
collected government tobacco subsidies; and in the 1988 campaign, four
years after his sister's death, he extolled his role in raising tobacco
on the family's Tennessee farm. "I've hoed it. I've dug in it. I've
prayed it. I've chopped it. I've shredded it ... and sold it," he told
tobacco farmers.

7.  Claimed parity with Senator Bob Kerry, saying both were "Vietnam
Veterans." In Vietnam, LT Kerry led a team of elite SEAL commandos and
was awarded the nations highest honor, the Medal of Honor. Al Gore,
despite his excellent education, passed up the chance to be a leader and
instead snoozed his way through Vietnam as an enlisted journalism
specialist. He was well behind in the rear, away from the shooting
during his entire tour of duty. The few soldiers who where there and
actually remember the undistinguished buck private, recall that he
generally whiled his way through Vietnam smoking thai sticks in Saigon
tea rooms reading anti-war poetry. This was not exactly characteristic
of SEAL commandos.

8.  Claimed Bill Clinton is "the greatest president of the 20th
century."

9.  Claimed to have founded the Internet, though the Internet's creation
is generally credited to Defense Department-funded programs in 1969,
when Mr. Gore, self-proclaimed "Father of the Internet", was 21.

10.  And Vice President Al Gore's latest exaggerated claims - that as a
boy he slopped hogs and drove mules, and that before his election to
Congress at the age of 28, he cleared the land with a double-bladed axe
and built homesteads. Reaction from RNC Chair Jim Nicholson - "You'd
think a guy who could raise tobacco, slop hogs, build homes, invent the
Internet and inspire a best-selling novel and movie - all by the time he
was 28 - could afford to give more than $353 a year to charity," and,
Nicholson's note on Gore's boast that he'd cleaned out hog waste with a
shovel and a hose, "Mr. Vice President, with all due respect, you're
shoveling a lot more of it right now than you ever did back then."


Please include this information if you forward this joke:
*********************************************************
     This joke and others like it, can be found in:
                     The Loony Bin
              http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
*********************************************************


______________________________________________________________________
To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com
Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/