The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Tue, 27 Jul 1999 13:28:21 +0100
Hiya All...
Here's how you can tell when you're in Washington, DC...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
*** ***
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
You know that you are in Washington, DC when:
1. People just call the city "DC"
2. The government closes schools because there is a 40% CHANCE of snow
(That is if they aren't already closed to tar the roofs)
3. Everyone calls the 10 inches of snow last year "THE GREAT BLIZZARD"
4. Used to be that all the people on the city boards knew the mayor from
their time in Lorton together
5. There are 15 main ways out of the city onto the highway but no signs
to say where these are.
6. Drivers pick up strangers at bus stops so that they can drive in the
HOV during rush hour.
7. You spend 2 hours to find a parking space and it's for "one hour
only"
8. The road you are on is suddenly interrupted by a building
9. People give different directions to get to the same destination
depending on the day you are going there.
10. The weather man declares the weather is suddenly a cool 89 degrees
with only 90% humidity and you are happy.
11. Diplomat plates bring on anxiety attacks.
12. The weatherman calls for 2 inches of snow and you have to rush to
the grocery store to buy diapers, milk, bread, and toilet paper, and you
don't even have a baby.
13. You watch the World/National News to find out what to do this
weekend.
14. You race for the elevator.
15. You dream of moving to the suburbs only to look out the window of
your $300,000 house directly into your neighbor's window 4 feet away.
16. Nobody you know actually makes anything.
17. Most of your friends want to become "independent consultants" (or
already have)
18. All of your friends are either
a. Lawyers,
b. Computer People,
c. Work for some gov't organization with a short abbreviation (ie.
IRS, DOD, DOE, etc.)
d. Work "for the Pentagon" or "on the Hill" or "for the White House"
(ie. they work for a location, but not for anyone)
19. Knowing somebody that can get you into an embassy, white house, or
congressional party is a status symbol.
20. People talk in acronyms and they actually understand each other.
21. When you ask someone what they do for a living they respond "I would
tell you but I'd have to kill you". And they are serious.
22. When you hit a softball and it bounces off the Washington Monument,
it isn't vandalism, it's a ground rule double.
23. No one you know is actually from here.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
*********************************************************
This joke and others like it, can be found in:
The Loony Bin
http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
*********************************************************