Kids' Sayings...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Wed, 28 Jul 1999 13:53:30 +0100


Hiya Folks...

Isn't it wonderful what kids sometimes say...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and
looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out
of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an
old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. 
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's
Adam's suit!"

****************************************************************

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly
tripping before jerking it again.
After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned
toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

****************************************************************

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally,
his big sister had enough. 
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."   
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men
standing by the door? They're hushers."

****************************************************************

The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page
picturing several national flags. 
She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?"
A little girl called out, "That's the flag of our country."
"Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of our country?"
"'Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.

****************************************************************

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and
a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the
children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At
last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. 
As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling
voice, "Who was that?"

*****************************************************************

Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took them to a
restaurant for lunch. They couldn't make up their minds about what they
wanted to eat. 
Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring them
bread and water."
One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have ketchup on
it?"

******************************************************************

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers
and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."

******************************************************************

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." 
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

******************************************************************

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" 
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.

******************************************************************

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. 
"What's it about?" he asked. 
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

******************************************************************

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for
me, so I continued. 
At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you
should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

******************************************************************

A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming
quite knowledgeable about the Bible. 
Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was
the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

*******************************************************************

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready
to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what
it was. 
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
covers off the neighbor's wife."


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