Kosovo...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Wed, 28 Jul 1999 23:19:07 +0100


Hiya People...

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Now lets look at possible alternative Kosovo tactics...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1999-04
April, 1999
----------------------------------------------------------
1999-04-13      High Flying Ig Winner

John Hagelin, the winner of the 1994 Ig Nobel Peace Prize, has recently
extended his prize-winning work. The following report is from the April
9 issue of the newsletter "What's New" by Bob Park:

APPLIED PHYSICS: HAGELIN OFFERS TO END VIOLENCE IN KOSOVO.

At a Washington press conference this morning, string theorist and
Natural Law Party presidential candidate John Hagelin proposed a more
effective air campaign: an elite corps of 7,000 trained Yogic flyers.

The trained meditators, he explained, would spread tranquillity with a
quantum-mechanical consciousness field. It's been proven, he said,
citing the 1993 Demonstration to Reduce Violence in Washington, DC. WN
covered that demonstration (WN 23 Jul 93). The murder rate in the
capital soared to an all-time high during the 8-week project, but
Hagelin later explained it would have been 18% higher if the meditators
hadn't been there meditating (WN 7 Oct 94). 

NATO must guarantee the security of the flyers presumably by force. He
was perplexed that Madeleine Albright had rejected the plan. The press
conference ended with 12 trained Yogic flyers bouncing around on
mattresses. 

It was clear to me his plan would work. Serbian troops viewing 7,000
bouncing Yogic flyers would be rendered helpless by laughter.


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