The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Thu, 4 Nov 1999 20:06:59 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya People... Here's another list for you to look at: You should subscribe to RECIPE PETITE Free recipes delivered daily via email. No chit-chat, just recipes you can use. To subscribe, address a blank email to recipepetite-subscribe@listbot.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now on with the humour... Let's see what sort of things have been in the news... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- "KLM Royal Dutch Airlines offers its most sincere apologies to animal lovers and to all those offended by recent events" said KLM spokesman Joessef Eddiei in an unprecedented public statement. "We made a grave ethical mistake when we threw four hundred and forty live Chinese squirrels into a shredding machine, and we deserve criticism from the public and from animal rights groups. However, we had little choice, because they had been shipped illegally to Schiphol airport from China, and arrived without proper documentation. "And it may sound strange, but dropping the squirrels into a commercial poultry shredder was actually the most humane way to destroy them. They felt no more pain than you or I would, were we thrown into a shredder." (Brisbane Courier Mail, 17/4/99. Spotter: Norm Reynolds) "The police were called to Whangarei Ward at the Aged Care Centre in Kaikohe because a fight had broken out," Senior Sergeant Maurice Loveridge told a New Zealand court, "and when they arrived, they could see that the two elderly accused men had just been involved in an almighty punch up. "Both were covered in blood, their clothes were torn, one had a broken nose and half his hair ripped out, and the other one had a broken arm and a hypodermic needle stuck into his penis. Furniture and equipment had been smashed flat, beds had been overturned, and the other patients on the ward were all terrified. "However, the fight took place in a ward full of elderly Alzheimer's patients, and it has gradually become clear that nobody can remember what happened, or who was responsible. One patient keeps repeating the phrase 'we ought to have more manure', but frankly that gives us no clue. "The two accused men do not recognise each other, nor do the other patients, and the ones who initially reported the incident to us had forgotten that there even was a fight by the time we tried to question them. "Therefore, because nobody can now recall the incident, the Police Prosecution Department has reluctantly decided to withdraw the case against both men." (Southland Times [New Zealand], 25/2/99. Spotter: Paul Bigland) Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/