The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Thu, 4 Nov 1999 20:06:59 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
Here's another list for you to look at:
You should subscribe to RECIPE PETITE
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Now on with the humour...
Let's see what sort of things have been in the news...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
"KLM Royal Dutch Airlines offers its most sincere apologies to animal
lovers and to all those offended by recent events" said KLM spokesman
Joessef Eddiei in an unprecedented public statement.
"We made a grave ethical mistake when we threw four hundred and forty
live Chinese squirrels into a shredding machine, and we deserve
criticism from the public and from animal rights groups. However, we had
little choice, because they had been shipped illegally to Schiphol
airport from China, and arrived without proper documentation.
"And it may sound strange, but dropping the squirrels into a commercial
poultry shredder was actually the most humane way to destroy them. They
felt no more pain than you or I would, were we thrown into a shredder."
(Brisbane Courier Mail, 17/4/99. Spotter: Norm Reynolds)
"The police were called to Whangarei Ward at the Aged Care Centre in
Kaikohe because a fight had broken out," Senior Sergeant Maurice
Loveridge told a New Zealand court, "and when they arrived, they could
see that the two elderly accused men had just been involved in an
almighty punch up.
"Both were covered in blood, their clothes were torn, one had a broken
nose and half his hair ripped out, and the other one had a broken arm
and a hypodermic needle stuck into his penis. Furniture and equipment
had been smashed flat, beds had been overturned, and the other patients
on the ward were all terrified.
"However, the fight took place in a ward full of elderly Alzheimer's
patients, and it has gradually become clear that nobody can remember
what happened, or who was responsible. One patient keeps repeating the
phrase 'we ought to have more manure', but frankly that gives us no
clue.
"The two accused men do not recognise each other, nor do the other
patients, and the ones who initially reported the incident to us had
forgotten that there even was a fight by the time we tried to question
them.
"Therefore, because nobody can now recall the incident, the Police
Prosecution Department has reluctantly decided to withdraw the case
against both men."
(Southland Times [New Zealand], 25/2/99. Spotter: Paul Bigland)
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