The Loony Bin ( )
Wed, 12 Jul 2000 16:17:05 +0100

The Loony Bin -

Hiya Folks...

Here's another list for you to look at:

BIG MAC JOKES now comes in two flavors, "R",  and clean.

For "R", go to, or
send a blank email to
For "clean", go to,
or a blank email to


We see lots of redneck jokes, so here are some Yankee jokes for a

Wishes & Dreams...


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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


By now I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are
some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins:


 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"  
 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
 5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
 6. You've never had an RC cola.
 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
 8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
 9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are 
    on road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the 
    same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get 
    his own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them 
    "you guys," even if both of them are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife 
19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at 
    your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting 
    on an on-ramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman 
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side 
    of the road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what applique is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob,
    Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, et 
29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make 
30. You've never been to a craft show.
31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
32. You can do your laundry without quarters.
33. None of your fur coats are homemade.

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