Rudolph...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Sat, 16 Dec 2000 22:36:27 +0000


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya All...

Here's Rudolph, for the politically correct...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


POLITICALLY CORRECT RUDOLPH

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate,

Original: Had a very shiny nose ...
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon
lustre.

Original: And if you ever saw him ...
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves
that he ever came into your view,

Original: You would even say it glows ...
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark as to its illuminary
qualities.

Original: All of the other reindeer ...
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his
ecological community,

Original: Used to laugh and call him names ...
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed
him unspeakable pseudonyms - the objective of which was to lower his
self-esteem and make him miserable.

Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games ...
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure
activities consistent with their species.

Original: Then one foggy Christmas eve ...
Translation: However, on the twenty-fourth of December in an unspecified
year...

Original: Santa came to say ...
Translation: A mythological, supernatural being inherent to western
culture (who symbolizes the Christmas attitude and allegedly brings
gifts to children) arrived through the super-saturated, humid air.

Original: Rudolph, with your nose so bright ...
Translation: He formally invited Rudolph, due to his extraordinary nasal
characteristic.

Original: Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
Translation: To stand at the forefront of his snow vehicle with the
express purpose that he navigate through the nocturnal mist.

Original: Then all the reindeer loved him ...
Translation: At that point, the multitude of other members of the
population in his ecological community who had previously teased,
chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed
their disposition toward Rudolph to a more congenial, amicable
relationship.

Original: And they shouted out with glee ...
Translation: They consequently exclaimed with great exaltation and
fervor,

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...
Translation: Rudolph, the antlered mammal with a maroon nasal appendage,

Original: You'll go down in history!
Translation: You shall most certainly be recorded in the annals of time,
and your memory will be preserved for posterity!


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