Talmudist...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Thu, 1 Mar 2001 18:41:52 +0000


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya Loonies...

In today's story, we meet a Talmudist on a train...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from
Odessa was granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and
found an empty seat.

At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar
looked at the young man and thought: This fellow doesn't look like a
peasant, and if he isn't a peasant he probably comes from this district.

If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this is,
after all, a Jewish district. On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where
could he be going? I'm the only Jew in our district who has permission
to travel to Moscow.

Ahh? But just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet,
and Jews don't need special permission to go there. But why would he be
going to Samvet?

He's probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how
many Jewish families are there in Samvet? Only two - the Bernsteins and
the Steinbergs. The Bernsteins are a terrible family, and a nice looking
fellow like him must be visiting the Steinbergs. But why is he going?
The Steinbergs have only daughters, so maybe he's their son-in-law.

But if he is, then which daughter did he marry? They say that Sarah
married a nice lawyer from Budapest, and Esther married a businessman
from Zhitomer, so it must be Sarah's husband. Which means that his name
is Alexander Cohen, if I'm not mistaken. But if he comes from Budapest,
with all the anti-Semitism they have there, he must have changed his
name.

What's the Hungarian equivalent of Cohen? Kovacs. But if they allowed
him to change his name, he must have some special status. What could it
be? A doctorate from the University.

At this point the scholar turns to the young man and says, "How do you
do, Dr. Kovacs?"

"Very well, thank you, sir," answered the startled passenger. "But how
is it that you know my name?"

"Oh," replied the Talmudist, "it was obvious."


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