Shorts...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Thu, 15 Mar 2001 18:29:11 +0000


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya All...

Today we have several short stories showing that people say the oddest
things...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
 

Fabric Softener
---------------

My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then
I noticed women were coming up to me (sniff) 'Married' (walk off).
That's how they mark their territory. You can take off that ring, but
it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
 
Phone-in Polls
--------------

You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues?
Did you ever notice there's always like 18% "I don't know". It costs 90
cents to call up and vote...they're voting "I don't know". 

"Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Into phone)
I DON'T KNOW! (hangs up, looking proud) Sometimes you have to stand up
for what you believe you're not sure about." 
 
The Funeral Service
-------------------

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She wrote her
will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she
met with her rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she
wanted. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. 
 
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes
scattered over Bloomingdales.
 
"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomingdales?"
 
"That way, I know my daughters will visit me at least twice a week."


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