Marriage...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Sun, 27 Oct 02 01:24:55 +0100


Hiya Loonies...

Marriage once again...this time the secrets of a successful one...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com *******

         Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/

*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
 
 
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last
-------------------------------------------------------
 
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, 
   some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
 
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in 
   B.C.
 
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
 
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 
   "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested 
   the kitchen.
 
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
 
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread 
   maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to 
   sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
 
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water 
   in the carburettor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the 
   lake."
 
8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell 
   off.
 
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the 
   garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
 
10. Remember...Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
 
11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.
 
12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
 
13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt 
    her.
 
14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I 
    said, 'Dust!"
 
15. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man 
    and rested. Then God created woman... Since then, neither God nor 
    man has rested.
  
16. Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.


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