The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 07 Mar 03 00:25:50 -0000
Hiya All...
That darn chicken seems to be in the road again - some of these are
oldies and others are new to us...these were sent in by Dot...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com *******
Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to
bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not
reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money. Money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
cross.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been
told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story of how it avoided serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend
to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
*******************************************************
This joke and others like it, can be found in:
The Loony Bin
http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*******************************************************
To UNSUBSCRIBE or SUBSCRIBE email: loonies@bloodaxe.com
Subject: 'unsubscribe' or 'subscribe'