The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com)
Sat, 26 Apr 03 23:47:53 +0100
Hiya Folks...
Now it's time to consider the finer points of older women...this one's
from Kathleen...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
If you're not an "older woman" yet, this will give you encouragement! If
you're an older woman and you didn't love Andy Rooney before, this may
change your mind!
Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:
An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50
give a damn what you might think about her.
An older single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful
relationships" and "commitment." The last thing she needs in her life is
another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!
Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you
at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if
you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it.
Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness and are generous
with praise, often undeserved.
An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends.
A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend
because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't
care less.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an
older woman. They always know.
An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true
of younger women or drag queens.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you
are a jerk if you are acting like one.
Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 70
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself
with some 22 year old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize for all of us. That men are genetically inferior is
no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age,
leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate the exquisite
woman you've become, without the distraction of some demanding old man
clinging and whining his way into your serenity.
- Andy Rooney
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