The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com)
Wed, 06 Aug 03 03:05:45 +0100
Hiya All...
Today we are lucky enough to see a sample of the letter that modern
tooth fairies leave...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com
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Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
LETTER FROM TOOTH FAIRY
-----------------------
Dear _________________ :
Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night. While
we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or
stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the
following reason(s) indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odour
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of
our visit
( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or
were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string [ ] pliers [ ] gunpowder [ ] hammer marks [ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth [ ] no dental care
( ) other:
Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the
future.
Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
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