The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 1 May 1996 10:57:35 +0100
Hiya Loonies...
Here's the latest from Joke of the Day - how did they know I was in the
middle of a run of computing jokes...???
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
--
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded message follows -------
Top 17 Programmer's Terminologies
1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still
pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO
THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.
4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind
schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing
blew up when we threw the switch.
7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised
that the stupid thing works.
8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person
who understood the thing quit.
9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the
situation is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the
screw up.
12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you
have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've
already done.
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!
14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.
15. ALL NEW - Code not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - It finally worked!
17. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.
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TLX 4.10 What if there were no hypothetical situations?