20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Tue, 6 Aug 1996 12:00:48 +0100

Hiya All...

My dog Bobster says he agrees with all of these...

Wishes & Dreams...


***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

*** The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers ***

20.  Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.

19.  Fetch command not available on all platforms.

18.  Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

17.  Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.

16.  Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."

15.  Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

14.  Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing 
     www.pethouse.com instead of working.

13.  Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.

12.  Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

11.  Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies

10.  Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft 
     Opposable Thumb.

9.   Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

8.   'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!  Now, cats, on the other hand...

7.   Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition

6.   SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

5.   SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the

4.   Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

3.   Annoyed by lack of newsgroup - alt.binaries.master's.leg.

2.   Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat

*** And the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers... ***

1.   TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.

     (Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws.)