Computer must be...FEMALE...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 27 Aug 1997 01:40:13 +0100


Hiya All...

Here's why computers must be female...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
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**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------



 21.  There common moral principle is: GIGO (garbage in, garbage out).
 20.  Older models are less user friendly:
      -  called 'mainframes',
      -  lack client-server abilities,
      -  have no decent GUI (graphic user interface).
 19.  Their actual performance much worse than the vendors' claim.
 18.  Once a month they crash.
 17.  They are susceptible to every virus around.
 16.  As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
 15.  No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
 14.  Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to random
      access memory for future reference.
 13.  The native language used to communicate with other computers is
      incomprehensible to everyone else.
 12.  The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative 
      as: "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not 
      going to tell you."
 11.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you are spending half
      your paycheck on accessories for it.
 10.  Picky, picky, picky.
  9.  They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
  8.  Beauty is only shell deep.
  7.  When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
  6.  Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
  5.  Always turning simple statements into big productions.
  4.  Smalltalk is important.
  3.  You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
  2.  They make you take the garbage out.
  1.  Miss a period and they go wild.