Wedding Night...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Mon, 2 Aug 1999 20:42:26 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya People...

Here's one woman's wedding experiences...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12
times. 

On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their
hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be
gentle. I am still a virgin."

This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at
least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his
new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded:

"My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent the entire
marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to
be.

"My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure
how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me
documentation.

"My third husband was from Field Services and repeatedly said that
everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up.

"My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and you know the old
saying - 'Those who CAN, DO; those who can't, teach.'

"My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he had
the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to
deliver.

"My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the
basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design
a new state-of-the-art method.

"My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. He knew how,
but he just wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me
that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on how
to do it.

"My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the
product, he just wasn't sure how to position it.

"My tenth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was talk
about it.

"My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do
was look at it.

"My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do
was l... - God I miss him!

"So now I've married you, and I'm really excited."

"Why is that?" asked the lawyer.

"Well, it should be obvious! You're a lawyer!! I just know  I'm going to
get screwed this time!


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