The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 1 May 1996 00:11:43 +0100
Hiya all... This came from a goddess...the moment I started reading it I thought 'how true'...and then I thought 'hang on, rather a lot of these are true of me and I'm supposed to be a historian'...oh well, that's life...:-) Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx -- ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded message follows ------- >YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... > > >If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife". > >If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE. > >If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes. > >If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail. > >If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys. > >If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car. > >If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than >hanging coats and taping ducts. > >If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to >find the burnt-out bulb in the string. > >If you window shop at Radio Shack. > >If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area. > >If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test >that actually takes five minutes to run. > >If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door >opener and your camera's flash attachment. > >If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven. > >If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush. > >If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside. > >If a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna >on the radio in your work area for better reception. > >If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid. > >If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project. > >If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts. > >If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions. > >If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it. > >If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile >tires. > >If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you >own turns bread into charcoal. > >If you have more toys than your kids. > >If you need a checklist to turn on the TV. > >If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name. > >If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work. > >If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush >up to the front to fix it. > >If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary. > >If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel >and have seen most of the shows already. > >If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN >stands for. > >If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV >with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up >thinking that was normal. > >If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting. > >If people groan at the party when you pick out the music. > >If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time. > >If you did the sound system for your senior prom. > >If your checkbook always balances. > >If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her. > >If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone. > >If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life. > >If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission >controllers. > >If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work. > >If you spend more on your home computer than your car. > >If you know what http:// stands for. > >If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio. > >If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your >garage. > >If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest >satellite weather picture with yours. > >If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to >explain atmospheric absorption theory. > >If your lap-top computer costs more than your car.